10. Democrat friends may burst a blood vessel if they are shut out from the halls of power (both houses of Congress, the Executive, and Supreme Court) for another two years. You want them to live, don’t you? Don’t you?
9. Gridlock is good. Government causes less mischief when fewer laws are passed.
8. Pleasure: Republicans historically have never been happier than when they battled the perfidy and harebrained plans of a Democratic President.
7. The billionaire First Lady will put her wealth in a blind trust and won’t be as free to fund radical left-wing causes.
6. If Kerry uses international alliances to try to clean up the mess in Iraq—and fails, the American public may finally give the boot to the United Nations, and a Republican will be the odds-on favorite to win the Presidency in 2008.
5. If Kerry does succeed in Iraq, Western values will have gained a significant beachhead in the Middle East. The national interest will have been served, and all good Republicans will be happy to place the country’s welfare before that of the party (right?).
4. No more movies where a drug-crazed Vietnam vet shoots up the post office.
3. More pictures of the Kerry daughters.
2. Knowing that everyone’s scrutinizing their tax returns, President and Mrs. Kerry will have to a) declare more income and b) claim fewer deductions, thereby making a huge dent in the national debt.
1. President Hillary Clinton – not going to happen! © 2004 Stephen Yuen
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