He Hit a Slick

John McCain has trouble reading from a teleprompter. In the unveiling of his energy plan a view days ago

he hit a slick.

“I have set before the American people an energy plan, the Lex-eegton Project,” Mr. McCain said, drawing a quick breath and correcting himself. “The Lex-ing-ton Proj-ect,” he said slowly. “The Lexington Project,” he repeated. “Remember that name.”

To the cognoscenti most Republicans are barely literate boobs who, like the current inhabitant of the Oval Office, mangle the English language. However, I don’t think a lack of mental alertness, knowledge, or speaking ability is the explanation for Senator McCain’s verbal slip-ups. I was once a quick reader-out-loud, too, but with time’s passage visual acuity has slowly deteriorated, accompanied by a small but noticeable delay in the mind’s registering of what the eyes are seeing. So when it’s my turn to read the Sunday lesson out loud in church, I slow down not only because listeners can hear better but because I have to in order to keep my place. The trick is to slow down without being "slow".

If eye-mouth or eye-hand coordination was John McCain’s only problem it wouldn’t be a big deal, since he’s not trying to beat Barack Obama in a videogame. But Mr. McCain has got other obstacles to overcome.

Do you think that the difference on TV between John Kennedy and Richard Nixon was wide? Between Barack Obama and John McCain it’s a chasm: youth vs. age, tall vs. short, cool vs. hot, sexy vs. seventy, sonorous vs. snore-mous.

But John McCain has a chance because TV is no longer a new medium. It’s a rare late-night viewer who hasn’t been duped by ads for ginsu knives, miracle weight-loss programs, or courses on how to get rich in real estate (or commodities or options). The smooth-talking con artist is easily familiar, an American archetype dating back to Huckleberry Finn.

If the Republicans can turn Barack Obama into Harold Hill—endearing, funny, eloquent, but in the end all talk, no action and perhaps, even a coward when the chips are down—then John McCain has a puncher’s chance. But is he cruel enough to wage such a campaign? The temptation of the Presidency has overwhelmed other good and decent men. © 2008 Stephen Yuen