Sounding Like an MBA

Your humble observer believes that the various flavors of capitalism are much superior to socialist/statist alternatives. But he is not blind to the human weakness and dastardly goings-on that can arise when individuals pursue their own self-interest.

The top-50 business buzzwords are ingenious and often ruefully amusing. Some, like synergy and poison pill, have been around for decades (the most creative, IMO, are in red):

A “granular” perspective: To examine something in detail – “course-grained” is to focus on the big picture, “fine-grained” the nitty-gritty.
Deep diving: A liquid, “in-depth” take on the above.
Deep pyramid: The structure of a centralised organisation consisting of many layers.
Excentralise: The trend towards flatter corporate pyramids.
Deliverable: An output, product, result, or outcome.
Paradigm shift: Something revolutionary.
Game changer: A step down from the above.
Ideation: The ability to come up with effective new ideas.
Resonance: The impact of an idea across the organisation.
Vision statement: An explanation of what you one day hope to achieve.
Decruiting: Current euphemism for firing people.
Don’t boil the ocean: Don’t waste time or resources.
Pain points: Mumbo-jumbo for problems or challenges.
Emotional leakage: Anger or disappointment that transfers from one person to another.
Eyebrow management: Arms-length management style in which a top exec can stop a course of action by the slightest hint of disapproval.
Falling forward: Risk management term for a learning process that consists of trying something – a product, strategy or organisational change – and scrapping it for a better idea if it doesn’t work.
Gatekeeper: Any person or department that screens or selects.
Bleeding edge – Leading or cutting edge.
Seamless integration: Patching things together so that nobody will notice.
Pushing the envelope: Testing the boundaries.
Data colouration: White lies that percolate up the line as employees at all levels report the state of their business in the most favourable light.
Quick wins: Results that look good but can be achieved with minimal effort.
Let’s speak “offline”: A one-on-on, face-to-face conversation.
Out-of-the-box: To think outside the box, don’t you still have to think about the box?
Informativity: The degree of efficiency with which a company’s information needs are handled.
Disruptive thinking: Being innovative, only more so.
Intrapreneurship: Innovation and creativity developed within an existing company.
Dawn raid (daybreak attack): A surprise takeover move by a predator company.
Death Valley curve: The stage in a new company’s existence when losses erode its equity base, damaging its ability to raise funds.
Hot button: The thing you push to get a strong response.
EEE sensation: Proceeding in the direction you are moving because it’s “easy, effortless and enjoyable”.
JIC and JIT: Just in case and just in time.
CSF: Critical success factor – be it great service, price, technology, etc.
OVA: Stands for overhead value analysis.
MIPS war: Acronym for speeding up computer power to handle “millions of instructions per second”.
MEGO effect: The impact on an audience by an inept presenter: “My eyes glazed over.”
Organic growth: The expansion of business through internal development.
Golden retriever: A cash bonus that lures a retired executive back into an active business role.
Layered: What happens when your responsibilities are eroded by a new layer of management.
Mushroom management: A management technique that keeps employees in the dark.
High-touch: Management style practised in people-oriented companies, where “touchy-feely” methods are popular.
Poison pill: Debt and other liabilities taken on by companies that corrupt their balance sheet.
Psychic income: The satisfaction derived from your job – usually a substitute for money.
Spear carrier: Second-tier representative top managers send to the frontline to save themselves.
Share of mind: A key factor in achieving brand recognition.
Low-hanging fruit: Go for the easiest pickings first.
Quant: A numbers man or woman.
Synergy: A chronically overused buzzword that generally refers to cooperative interaction among groups.
Big data: Lots of interpretations, but usually refers to the explosion of digitised data created by people, machines, sensors and the like that can act as an audit trail.
Bandwidth: In its latest incarnation in the corporate sector, means the energy or mental capacity required to deal with a situation.