Older Heart, Bigger Heart

(WSJ illustration)

Ten years ago we were finishing a church project when Eric, who was 20 years my junior, said that he admired how I was able to volunteer for so many charitable activities. I returned the compliment: when I was his age with two young children I could barely attend Sunday services much less be on the Vestry like him.

When one nears retirement and the kids are grown, I assured Eric, it would be much easier to find the time. Having more money and a less-busy calendar, as well as having different priorities--for example, less career advancement and more teaching life's lessons--was the simplest explanation, which was confirmed by many personal observations of my and older generations.

But stage-of-life may not have been the entire explanation. Psychologists designed an experiment that seemed to prove that older people as a group were "intrinsically" more generous than younger people. [bold added]

the researchers got them to squeeze a “dynamometer,” a machine that measures the strength of your grip. Participants could choose whether to put in effort and squeeze harder to get more points. The points translated into a small monetary reward. In half the trials, the reward would go to the participants themselves; in the other half they would go to another person. There were 150 trials, so people had a lot of chances to decide whether to go for the easier or harder choice, and they had to make the decisions quickly and intuitively, without thinking about it much.

Researchers tested one group aged 18-35 and another aged 55-85. Everybody rested sometimes and put in effort at other times. But the younger people put in much more effort when they got the reward themselves than when it went to the other person. The older people still worked to get the rewards themselves, but they were much more likely to put in the effort to help the other person than the younger folk were.

There seems to be something about getting older that just intrinsically makes us more generous. This may fit with another rather surprising discovery, which is that we also seem to get happier as we grow older, despite our increasingly creaky minds and bodies. A variety of studies across many different cultures and countries suggest this; for example, in several studies, when people were randomly “pinged” during the day and asked to report their emotions, older people were more likely to report positive feelings.

"Things will get better" we say to young people who don't believe us from their Slough of Despond. It may be more accurate to say that the way they feel about things will get better.

And that's another reason why, I would say to my friend Eric, who got promoted and moved away shortly after we had our conversation, you'll find it easier to be more generous to others.