Counting to Ten Also Helps

(Cartoon from Lauber and Will Insurance)

Road rage, fortunately for most people, doesn't manifest itself in actions that injure people or damage property, Your humble blogger admits, however, that he does give in, once or twice a year, to yelling at another driver with the windows up or pressing on the horn. Most of the time I use mental tricks to defuse my anger:

[CHP Lt. Daniel] Hill recommends a familiar mindfulness practice to counter rising road rage: pausing a moment, then telling yourself, “OK, this person did something rude to me. What is happening in their mind? The reason they made an unsafe lane change or cut me off isn’t because they’re trying to ruin my day; maybe their day was already ruined by someone else, so they can’t focus.” Maybe they’re rushing home to a sick child, Hill added, or are terrified of being late for a job interview.

When concocting an imaginary narrative to excuse another driver doesn't work, contemplating the cost of an auto repair that can easily amount to thousands of dollars sobers one quickly.

I also envision the other driver getting an expensive ticket or an even more expensive repair if he continues driving in the same manner. It's not kind, I know, but it gets me home safely.

Martha or Mary: a False Choice

Christ in the House of Mary and Martha (Vermeer)

Today's Gospel lesson is little known among non-Christians and does not concern matters of life, death, or eternity. Yet it has sparked endless discussions because people in Bible study groups tend to identify with the protagonists, especially the conscientious one whom Jesus gently chides.

We're talking about Martha and Mary.

As Jesus and his disciples went on their way, Jesus entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying.

But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her."-----Luke 10:38-42

Conscientiousness is one of the "big five" personality traits. It is not an exaggeration to say that conscientious people are responsible for making the world livable, i.e., for making sure that things get done on time and that the hundreds, even thousands of details that cause households and organizations to work are attended to.

We all know Marys who think that what they have to do is too important to attend to those details. However, when Martha asks Jesus to "tell [Mary] then to help me" Jesus demurs because Mary has made the "better" decision while Martha is "distracted."

It probably comes as no surprise that scholars, priests, and other commentators conclude that Christians need to be both Martha and Mary, that is, serve through their actions and set aside time to contemplate Jesus' teachings. Difficult as it may be, we will not be complete unless we rise above the roles that make us comfortable.

Talk to the Hand, er, Chatbot

(Greg Clarke/WSJ)

Artificial intelligence "chatbots" have advanced to the point where human beings find them more empathetic--and prefer talking to them--over human strangers. [bold added]

A 2023 study in JAMA Internal Medicine found that patients with a medical concern preferred a chatbot’s response to a physician’s nearly 80% of the time. Another study published in the journal Communications Psychology this year found that people consistently found a chatbot more compassionate than trained hotline crisis responders.

Large language models (LLMs) are doing a better job than humans at making people feel seen and heard. This phenomenon, which we can call LLMpathy, is both stunning and controversial...

When we see someone is in pain, or when someone we care about shares a problem, we instinctively want to help. We offer advice, suggest solutions and rattle off how we once dealt with something similar.

These impulses may be noble, even loving, but they aren’t as helpful as we might hope. Rushing to share opinions and hash out next steps can trivialize someone’s pain, and shifting the focus to yourself may unintentionally undermine their hope to be heard.

Chatbots avoid these pitfalls. With no personal experiences to share, no urgency to solve problems and no ego to protect, they focus entirely on the speaker. Their inherent limitations make them better listeners. More than humans, Bing paraphrased people’s struggles, acknowledged and justified how they might feel and asked follow-up questions—exactly the responses that studies show signal authentic, curious empathy among humans.

When people adopt similar strategies, their connections strengthen. Consider “looping for understanding,” a technique in which a listener repeats what someone else says in their own words, then asks if their summary is correct—“Do I have that right?” Chatbots are natural loopers. When humans are taught to do the same, they do a better job of understanding what the other person is feeling and helping them feel heard.

Any man who has been in a long-term relationship has already known this. When your partner brings you a problem, don't try to solve it, at least immediately. Nod in understanding, look concerned, and say something in agreement, like "Your boss should have given you credit and you should feel mad" and "your mother has always favored your brother."

Human beings have a chance when the conversation eventually moves on from hurt feelings to finding solutions:

It bears noting that the AI advantage in empathetic conversations has limits. Talk for long enough with ChatGPT and you’ll find it a friendly but formulaic partner. Its go-to recipe of “paraphrase, affirm, follow up” may feel warm and attentive the first time, but rote the second and annoying the third...

Research in this area typically asks people to interact with chatbots just once. It is possible that their edge over humans would disappear in longer chats, when its kindness grows repetitive and cloying.

Don't expect AI to stand still. If it knows that this is the third time we're talking about a subject, the chatbot may well ask if it can suggest a few solutions, again keeping ahead of human interlocutors.

Life partners, friends, and relations deteriorate over time, while AI gets better and better. Take (cold) comfort in something it will never do, however. It won't miss you when you're gone.

I'm Gonna Be On Time Next Time

Hat on sale from Etsy

WSJ columnist Joe Queenan does not believe that the chronically tardy are being deliberately disrespectful. They are "aspirationally chronometric":

But lately I have come to realize that the chronically tardy are not late because they can’t keep time or because they don’t care that they have kept you waiting or because they never leave enough time to catch the train or find a parking spot. They are late because they practice something called “aspirational chronometry.”

The aspirationally timely are people who honestly think that time can miraculously expand to accommodate their needs, people who are always surprised to discover that the train has left, the cake has burned, the game is over, the blind date has up and left.

People who are always late are like people who are always befuddled that their diets never work or that their new clothes never fit. Just like people who buy a size 8 dress or size 34-36 trousers in the vain hope that they might eventually fit into them, the aspirationally chronometric honestly believe that by saying the words, “I’ll be there in five minutes,” they will actually be there in five minutes. Arriving 40 minutes late always comes as a shock.

I do not believe that the chronically tardy should be excoriated or ridiculed or cast out into the darkness. Just as some of us are insensitive and some of us are cheap and some of us are not so great around children and some of us tell inappropriate jokes in refined social settings, some people couldn’t arrive on time if their life depended on it.

There is nothing to be done about it; the behavior cannot be cured. Making people feel guilty about their maddening tardiness is only going to make things worse. The best course of action is to grin and bear it.

Mr. Queenan's tolerant attitude ends when the tardy person is or could be one's life partner:

You only see your friends from time to time, but you see your partner every day—which means your significant other is going to keep you waiting every day.

How to deal with this? At this point it might be, well, too late. But if you notice early in your relationship that your partner is always, always tardy, it’s likely best to pull the plug on the love affair and move to someone who is more chronometrically reliable.

Just as you would bring down the curtain on a relationship with someone who had a bad drug habit or who seemed way too fond of World War I-era ordnance, you should immediately walk away from a prospective partner as soon as you realize that they’re going to be a half-hour behind for everything for the next 65 years.

One should always practice charity and tolerance. But do not voluntarily enter a relationship where one must practice said charity and tolerance every day for the rest of one's life. That's being too aspirationally virtuous.

The Executive Function Coach

(Illustration by Kilbride/WSJ)

Here's another child-raising specialty that didn't exist when our kids were growing up. Demand is exploding for the Executive Function coach.

Executive function skills fall under three big headings: working, or short-term, memory; inhibitory control, which involves putting urges and impulses on hold; and cognitive flexibility, the ability to plan, reason, solve problems and manage multiple tasks. In practical terms, EF might coaches show students how to break down assignments and projects into bite-sized pieces and estimate the time each will take; establish a daily schedule, with time for study, exercise, socializing and sleep; and develop a plan to avoid getting distracted by technology and social media.

Psychologists in schools and private practice report seeing a flood of requests from parents for executive function help for their kids, and experienced EF coaches are struggling to meet demand...

The rise in demand for student EF coaches coincides with a rise in ADHD diagnoses and mental health problems in young people. Technology is fragmenting kids’ attention, and student life has become far more demanding. Juggling school, sports, extracurriculars, volunteering and college admissions requires careful time management.

“The number of choices available to a young person has increased so substantially,” says Grant Leibersberger, founder and principal of Boston-based Focus Collegiate, which offers EF coaching to kids with learning differences who are going to traditional colleges. “Their brains aren’t wired for all these choices so early on.”

Your humble blogger has observed young adults who have not been able to deal with electronic distractions. We see them on the road every day and give them a wide berth.

Executive Function training isn't just for kids.

Watching a Subspecies of Money Men

Last month we commented about how the super-rich signal their wealth to each other without making it obvious that's what they're trying to do. But not all of them, or those trying to be as wealthy as they are, are into that game at least when it comes to timepieces.

WSJ: The Anti-Status Watch: Why Men in Finance Love Cheap, Cheesy Watches

Sponge Bob and Avengers watches worn by financiers
Patrick Lyons and Leroy Dikito (WSJ/Lyons/Dikito)

Though finance guys famously flaunt Rolexes or Patek Philippes on their wrists, an established subspecies of money men goes the other way entirely. In place of a sleek steel case and elegant ceramic dial? Mickey Mouse. SpongeBob SquarePants. Fanta-orange rubber straps.

Over the years, highfliers have made headlines for sporting Swatches. (See: Blackstone Group CEO Stephen A. Schwarzman or former Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein.) That “wealthy guy, cheap watch” ethos continues to resonate in boardrooms and on trading floors, with men of all seniority levels embracing plasticky, offbeat designs, from superhero models to calculator Casios. Many resemble something you might win in a claw machine. Priced from $30 to a few hundred bucks, they’re a bit of fun and a different sort of flex, conveying an “I don’t need a Rolex” bravado that comes from having made it. Call them anti-status watches.

A practical reason for this anti-status affectation: cheap, everyday watches can be used as conversation starters in business conversations.

It's also possible to be viewed as truly wealthy, especially if everyone knows that a person is rolling in it, by not appearing to care about looking the part. The psychology of wealth, like the most important aspects of life, can be complicated.

The Road Not Taken

Perhaps the importance of "which road
do I take" is not the decision but the fact there
are at least two roads (WSJ/Carole Hénaff)

In unhappy situations where we tell ourselves that there's no other option (e.g., staying in a bad job or marriage), we really do have a choice. It's just that we are unwilling to face the consequences of that choice. [bold added]

But the truth, though it often makes people indignant to hear it, is that it’s almost never literally the case that you have to meet a work deadline, honor a commitment, answer an email, fulfill a family obligation or anything else. The astounding reality—in the words of Sheldon B. Kopp, a genial and brilliant American psychotherapist who died in 1999—is that you’re pretty much free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.

Consequences aren’t optional. Every choice you make comes with some sort of consequences, because at any instant you can only pick one path, and must deal with the repercussions of not picking any of the others. Spending a week’s holiday in Rome means not spending that same week in Paris. Avoiding a conflict in the short term means letting a bad situation fester.

Freedom isn’t a matter of somehow wriggling free of the costs of your choice—that’s never an option. It means realizing that nothing can stop you from doing anything at all, so long as you’re willing to pay those costs. Unless you’re being physically coerced into doing something, the notion that you “have to” do it just means that you don’t want to pay the price of refusing to do it. After all, it’s perfectly possible for you to quit your job with no backup plan. You could book a one-way ticket to Rio de Janeiro, or rob a bank, or tell your social media followers your honest views.

The economist Thomas Sowell summed things up by saying that there are no solutions, only trade-offs. The only questions to ask about any choice is what the price is, and whether or not it’s worth paying.

The benefit of the I-really-do-have-a-choice perspective may have an effect on one's psychological well-being.

If a path you’d love to take is genuinely likely to leave you destitute, or seriously harmed in some other way, then you probably shouldn’t take it. But for most of us, if we’re being honest with ourselves, the temptation is often to exaggerate potential consequences, so as to spare ourselves the burden of making a bold choice. The philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre observed that there’s a secret comfort in telling yourself you’ve got no options, because it’s easier to wallow in feeling trapped than to face the dizzying responsibilities of freedom...

Whatever choice you make, so long as you make it in the spirit of facing the consequences, the result will be freedom—not freedom from limitation, which is something we unfortunately never get to experience, but freedom in limitation. Freedom to examine the trade-offs—because there will always be trade-offs—and then to opt for whichever trade-off you like.

Thanksgiving will soon be here, and, although circumstances stay the same, changing our viewpoint toward life is a glass half full instead of a glass half empty makes all the difference in our feelings about the world.

Money and Happiness: Not So Simple

We've commented before on the 2010 study that asserted that more money does lead to happiness, but only up to a relatively modest level of income, i.e., $75,000 per year:

In 2010 Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton analyzed data from over 450,000 responses to a daily survey of 1,000 U.S. residents by the Gallup Organization. They found that money does influence happiness at low to moderate levels of income. Real lack of money leads to more worry and sadness, higher levels of stress, less positive affect (happiness, enjoyment, and reports of smiling and laughter) and less favorable evaluations of one’s own life. Yet most of these effects only hold for people who earn $75,000 a year or less. Above about $75,000, higher income is not the simple ticket to happiness that we think it is.

(WSJ illustration)

Since that 2010 study more research has been performed on the relationship between money and subjective well-being. Now it seems that more money in absolute terms does make higher-income people happier. [bold added]

A big raise provides significant boosts in happiness even at household incomes of $500,000, according to a new research report...according to a paper by Matt Killingsworth, a senior fellow at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School, the bonuses and leaps in income high earners reap are so large that they keep adding to well-being in the same way that smaller pay bumps do at lower tiers of earnings.

“I think of this as a ladder across society. The rungs are separated by more and more dollars, but exactly the same amount of happiness,” said Killingsworth, who published his report on his Happiness Science website.

An academic paper in 2010 popularized $75,000 as the salary threshold beyond which earning more money didn’t make people any happier. More recent research indicates that there is no such plateau.

Killingsworth and other researchers stress that many things influence human happiness, including your relationships, your job and the country you live in.

“No single factor, including money, dominates the equation,” Killingsworth said.

Previous studies on money and happiness have consistently demonstrated two things: that richer people are happier, and that it takes progressively more money to keep generating a well-being boost of a given size.

It makes sense that more money always makes people happier, ceteris paribus.

However, as people age money's importance diminishes (caveat: as long as one has enough to provide for retirement and health care) and no longer is the measuring stick of one's life; family, legacy, and discernment of life's meaning become foremost.

I wonder if there's research being performed on that.

The Limits of Competition

(Image from Yale Insights)

During my career I worked for a CEO who thought internal competition was the way to get the most out of workers.

The competition was at its fiercest when it came to devising a new line of business. My team worked round the clock, as did the others, to come up with an idea and the strategy to implement it.

No team "won." We ended up adopting a strategy proposed by a well-known consulting firm.

Internal competition often is counter-productive.

Internal competition often stifles innovation.

That is what we found in a study of companies that pushed internal teams to compete with each other—whether for formal financial rewards like bonuses, or for informal ones like greater prestige, access to executives and influence.

Yes, by some indicators, the teams ended up working harder when they were battling each other. But they failed in another crucial respect: The more teams competed, the less innovative they were. Simply put, they were wary of sharing information with other teams, so they weren’t getting unexpected, inspiring ideas from people in other parts of the company.

In fact, the only teams that excelled in the study were ones that did choose to share information with others, whether out of necessity or strategically.

Competition drives innovation, but it appears not to work if the organization competes internally. [bold added]

How, then, can companies leverage the benefits of competition without sacrificing information sharing between teams?

For one thing, choose an outside target: Instead of making internal teams battle each other, have them try to beat external benchmarks, such as how many patents a rival company produces. Companies should also make efforts to ensure groups share information, such as holding regular meetings or creating a shared database that any team could use.

Competition is one of the foundational elements of capitalism, but it is not the only element. The free flow of information is another, as well as the shared value to seek the good of the whole.

Obsessed by a Pittance

One of my New Year's goals (it's an aspiration, not a resolution) was to write letters regularly.

I've been averaging five letters per week, which requires frequent stamp purchases. It's a personal predilection, but I prefer to pay full price for a first-class stamp, currently 68¢, and pick out the images that I like. (One can buy slightly discounted stamps in bulk at stamps.com or big box stores.)

Yesterday I bought eighty stamps (picture) but didn't bother putting them in an envelope.

The smallest plate block was missing when I took inventory. Retracing my steps, I searched the car several times. After 20 minutes, I gave up, rationalizing that what was lost was only $13.60 (20 x 68¢), nothing in the scheme of things.

The next morning the first thing I did was search the car again. Et voilà! The manatee block was at the bottom of the driver-side storage compartment. I felt a brief moment of elation, then sobered immediately.

This chronicle of events was not about commitment, writing letters, buying stamps, or money.

I had been obsessed by a pittance, and I need to fix that.

Her Honesty Research Was Dishonest

Francesco Gino

You can't make this stuff up.

Harvard University has found that "prominent" researcher Francesco Gino, "known for her research into the reasons people lie and cheat", manipulated her data.

The investigative committee that produced the nearly 1,300-page document included three Harvard Business School professors tapped by HBS dean Srikant Datar to examine accusations about Gino’s work.

They concluded after a monthslong probe conducted in 2022 and 2023 that Gino “engaged in multiple instances of research misconduct” in the four papers they examined. They recommended that the university audit Gino’s other experimental work, request retractions of three of the papers (the fourth had already been retracted at the time they reviewed it), and place Gino on unpaid leave while taking steps to terminate her employment.

After this incident and the Claudine Gay fiasco, it would be nice if Harvard people became less insufferable, but don't hold your breath.

It Still Has Heft

Three ways to spot a fake: with a machine, with a pen
or by checking the small banding on the bill. (WSJ)

Something I didn't know: there are more one-hundred-dollar than one-dollar bills in circulation:

The $100 bill is far and away the most common U.S. paper currency, dwarfing even the $1 bill. The number of bills bearing Benjamin Franklin’s mug more than doubled between 2012 and 2022, faster growth than any other denomination, according to the most recent Federal Reserve data

For all its prevalence, the $100 bill is more effective for storing money than spending it. Even when cashiers do accept the bills, they hold up checkout lines to verify they aren’t counterfeits...

One reason they have become so prevalent is that they enter circulation far quicker than they leave. They can last over a decade longer than $1s and $5s, partly because people are more likely to hold than spend them.

One hundred dollar bills are harder to spend because cashiers eye them suspiciously, perform tests to make sure they're not counterfeit (picture), or even refuse them. Fast-food restaurants often post signs that they will not accept bills larger than twenties.

If I have to break a hundred, I walk over to the nearby Lucky Supermarket and use the self-checkout machine, which makes change without any hesitation.

However, the friction of using a Benjamin is more than made up by its (still) psychological heft; upon receiving a C-note as a gift, the recipient usually sends a real thank-you note, not a text or email.

Introverts: It May Be Their Time

Illustration from Management 30

In the era of look-at-me-ism it's a safe prediction that the spoils will go to people who can attract eyeballs on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. It is a time for showmanship, glad-handers, and pretty people (not an insult, I like looking at pretty people, too).

But in the real world do you want them to be your leaders?

Headline: Why Introverted Leaders Are Ideal for the Postpandemic Workplace [bold added]

in our postpandemic world, replete with remote work, hybrid communication, far-flung team members, artificial intelligence and global disruption, introverts are particularly well-equipped to lead.

That may be hard to believe because of two persistent myths.

First is the widely held stereotype that effective leaders are gregarious, alpha and comfortable in the spotlight, even craving that attention. In reality, the social skills that extroverts display aren’t necessarily predictive of capable leadership.

Second is the belief that quieter people lack leadership skills...

Both of these myths ignore the reality that introversion, far from being simply a lack of extroversion, is a distinct set of traits with its own large merits. This was true well before the pandemic, but the remote-work environment illuminated the bias even more and highlighted the need to change our perceptions.

Here are some valuable qualities--a few may surprise--that give introverts an advantage over extroverts in the post-COVID workplace: higher productivity when working remotely, greater capacity to handle adversity, more creativity especially after group meetings, and better resistance to burnout.

Famous introverts include: Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Isaac Newton, J.K. Rowling, and Barack Obama. So give the quiet ones another look.

Defeating Envy

(Quora image)

The traditional view of envy--or any of the other deadly sins--is to suppress or control it so that it doesn't consume our lives.

The new approach: there are good and bad forms of envy, and "good envy" may spur us to improve ourselves.

Malicious envy arrives with anger, frustration and a sense of wanting to take an advantage away from another person, says Jan Crusius, psychologist and professor of motivation and emotion at University of Greifswald in Germany.

Benign envy, on the other hand, is when you wish you were in someone else’s position but don’t feel compelled to tear them down. That envy can spark self-reflection and the motivation to set new goals.

Analysis of one's own feelings is a basic psychological technique that applies to a wide range of situations, including internal battles with envy.

“When you say, ‘I’m so jealous of your boat,’ you might mean, ‘I’m so envious of your money, your freedom, or your success,’” said author and podcast host Elise Loehnen, whose new book explores why women often repress feelings like pride and envy.

Ask yourself how you’d feel if your name was attached to the thing you envy. Consider the critiques as well as the praise that might come with it. That alone may quell your envy; if it doesn’t, and the idea is still appealing, use that answer to guide your pursuits. If it doesn’t hold allure, you might be envying an idea, rather than reality.

Your humble blogger has never been able to use negative emotions successfully. I'll-show-them drives comic-book villains. In real life it may lead to short-lived achievement, but satisfaction is very rarely the result.

The cure for envy is a long life; many of the aspects that we envied in others, e.g., wealth and social recognition, become much less important with the passage of time. Also, it turned out that some of our heroes had feet of clay, while others had struggles that made their days the opposite of halcyonic.

Victory over envy results when one truly rejoices in the good fortunes of others.

Sheepishly Assenting

Today, after years of requesting me to switch to paperless banking (primarily to eliminate the cost of printing and mailing statements), Citibank stopped asking nicely.

If I didn't agree to go paperless, Citi would eliminate my online access rights, the ability to send payments to vendors electronically, and the ability to transfer funds online. I could go back to the old way, that is, writing and mailing checks to everyone and making transfers at the Automated Teller Machine.

Yes, I could make them pay! I could make them process dozens of checks every month, just like they used to!

But I didn't. The convenience of electronic banking is too great, so I sheepishly assented to paperless-ness. And yes, if I really wanted a physical bank statement I could download and print one every month.

But I still don't like being forced to do something and calling it a "choice."

"What can your manager improve on?"

(grosum image)

About 30 years ago the Human Resources (formerly Personnel) function steeply ascended in importance. For the first time workers had to fill out forms evaluating their bosses.

The change was spurred by the publication of books about how excellent companies "treat[ed] rank and file employees as a source of quality," or a new appreciation of the costs of employee turnover.

Sexual harassment, typically of female workers by male bosses, was raised in the public consciousness by the 1991 Clarence Thomas Senate hearings. Bad publicity and legal liability were the consequences if organizations did not police their managers.

Those who were halfway up the pyramid, like your humble blogger, found the process to be exasperating. Not only did I have to compose upward feedback very carefully as a matter of self-preservation, I had to respond to workers' criticisms--thankfully there weren't many--with an action plan. (All this was on top of the annual evaluations--written and in-person--that were crucial to determining raises, bonuses, and promotions.)

It appears that employees are still agonizing over giving feedback on their bosses. [bold added]

Everyone seems to want our take these days. We’re subjected to quarterly 360 reviews, weekly pulse surveys and drive-by requests for input by the coffee machine. It’s part of a longstanding shift from command-and-control leadership styles to more collaborative ways of running companies, says Doug Stone, who teaches conflict management at Harvard Law School and co-wrote the book, “Thanks for the Feedback.” A lot of it stems from employees who have demanded more of a voice…even if another app wasn’t what they had in mind.

It's a wonder that companies get any real work done.

The House is Just a Metaphor

In Chapter 6 of “12 Rules for Life" Jordan Peterson is not really talking about organizing your stuff.

Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World

If you are suffering—well, that’s the norm. People are limited and life is tragic. If your suffering is unbearable, however, and you are starting to become corrupted [by thoughts of revenge], here’s something to think about.

Consider your circumstances. Start small. Have you taken full advantage of the opportunities offered to you? Are you working hard on your career, or even your job, or are you letting bitterness and resentment hold you back and drag you down?

Have you made peace with your brother? Are you treating your spouse and your children with dignity and respect? Do you have habits that are destroying your health and well-being? Are you truly shouldering your responsibilities? Have you said what you need to say to your friends and family members? Are there things that you could do, that you know you could do, that would make things around you better?

Have you cleaned up your life?

If the answer is no, here’s something to try: Start to stop doing what you know to be wrong.

It's easy to place blame on other people, the environment, or bad luck, and in truth a reasonable person must acknowledge that miserable circumstances are often caused partially or even mostly by outside factors over which we have no control.

But we can't get to a better place until we clean up the clutter in our emotional house.

The Religion - Health Connection

(WSJ illustration)

Despite the commonly held belief that religiosity is connected with good health, the causation arrow has been difficult to prove. Northeastern Professor of Psychology David DeSteno describes the current state of the research .

In a study published in JAMA Internal Medicine in 2016, using data from over 70,000 women who were part of the Nurses’ Health Study from 1992 to 2012, [Harvard epidemiologist Tyler] VanderWeele and colleagues found that those who attended religious services at least once a week had 33% lower mortality, from any cause, over a 16-year period. In particular, deaths due to cancer or cardiovascular disease were 75% the rate among non-attenders. While religion-associated reductions in smoking and increases in social support explained some of the benefit, the data suggested that religion worked through other, as yet unexplained, avenues too.

VanderWeele’s team found a similar benefit when it came to suicide risk. Among the nurses, attending services at least once a week or more cut the suicide rate by 80%, even when controlling for diagnoses of depression, cancer and cardiovascular disease. Researchers asked detailed questions to isolate the effect of social support from that of religious activity and found that while social connection did have a positive effect, it didn’t completely explain the benefits religion offered.

Using data from other large-scale, longitudinal studies, VanderWeele found that religiosity improves mental health. Attending services at least weekly or meditating regularly reduces feelings of depression and increases feelings of life satisfaction and purpose, even among adolescents. The health benefits are greater for those who attend services once a week or more than for those who only attend intermittently.

The aforementioned studies show that religion and health are positively correlated, but it's not clear that religion itself, as opposed to its attributes, is the key ingredient. After all, atheists can engage in healthy social interactions, lay off cigarettes, and meditate, all behaviors that have been shown to improve health.

Prof. DeSteno says that there is an additional "unexplained" health benefit that he doesn't quantify here. I guess we will have to take his claim on faith.

New Whey of Thinking

Room temperature evangelist Joelle Mertzel (WSJ)

Growing up in Hawaii, I always put perishables in the refrigerator. Food spoils rapidly in tropical weather, and dairies especially turn rancid. It was maybe 20 years after moving to the Mainland that I took the chance of leaving food out overnight. Soups and rice would keep 1-2 days, and butter could last a week during the winter.

Butter lover Joelle Mertzel is petitioning the government to declare that it is safe to store butter at room temperature for up to three weeks.

Ms. Mertzel said she came to her epiphany one morning about 14 years ago. She had forgotten to put away the butter the night before and at breakfast discovered how easy it was to spread. “My life changed in so many ways at that moment,” she said.

She has since written a children’s book, “Change Your Life for the Butter,” and developed a line of countertop holders with flip-top lids that keep clear of the softened butter inside. Traditional butter dishes, she said, “are a train wreck. The lid gets all gross.”

Food-safety scientists say butter usually doesn’t require constant cold. Butter made from pasteurized cream is safe to store at room temperature for a stretch because of its high fat content and low moisture, among other reasons. Salted butter tends to stay fresh longer.

Yet getting a definitive answer from the government’s butter bureaucracy has been a slippery endeavor. Ms. Mertzel this year petitioned the Food and Drug Administration to issue official guidance that butter could be safely kept out of the refrigerator at room temperature for three weeks.

Chefs and connoisseurs come down on both sides of the issue; some prefer the taste of cold, hard butter, while others like the easy spreadability over toast and pancakes.

I wish Ms. Mertzel well on her quixotic quest to convert the FDA. In the meantime I'll continue to adapt my behavior to the environment, i.e., leaving butter out in Northern California and putting it away in Hawaii.

Oversharing

(Image from mobile app daily)

Facebook's rapid growth 10-15 years ago coincided with a rise in teen mental health issues. Young people were bombarded with images about the happy, fulfilling, exciting experiences of their peers; they were reminded how their own lives supposedly paled in comparison.

Depression, anxiety, and the fear of missing out afflicted millions (2019: "there were almost 42 million adolescents between the ages of 10 and 19 in the United States.")

A more recent (but not new) tech tool, location-sharing, has aggravated emotional problems: [bold added]

Location sharing has become such a fixture that many teens say they’d be overlooked socially if they didn’t use it...

Many teens say location sharing can make them self-conscious about where they live and where they go. Some fear being stalked. Yet, by far the biggest cause of anxiety, they say, is knowing when they’re missing out.

The already-acute youth mental-health crisis has worsened since the pandemic.

Teens feel worse knowing immediately that their friends are having fun without them.

Addison [Figel, 16] and other teens say they can shrug it off when they see a photo or video of friends gathered without them, posted after the fact. Witnessing exclusion in real time hits differently.

Your humble blogger has always believed that more information--even information that is fragmented and incomplete--is better than not having it.

But it does require both good judgment--to view the information in context and question what is being left out--and strength of character to withstand actual or perceived slights. Wisdom and character are attributes that take time to develop.

Adolescents' inexperience and powerful emotions make them particularly vulnerable. Perhaps tech can develop solutions--for example, requiring non-family users to opt-in to location sharing upon powering up--to lessen the dark side of social media.