I'm Gonna Be On Time Next Time

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WSJ columnist Joe Queenan does not believe that the chronically tardy are being deliberately disrespectful. They are "aspirationally chronometric":

But lately I have come to realize that the chronically tardy are not late because they can’t keep time or because they don’t care that they have kept you waiting or because they never leave enough time to catch the train or find a parking spot. They are late because they practice something called “aspirational chronometry.”

The aspirationally timely are people who honestly think that time can miraculously expand to accommodate their needs, people who are always surprised to discover that the train has left, the cake has burned, the game is over, the blind date has up and left.

People who are always late are like people who are always befuddled that their diets never work or that their new clothes never fit. Just like people who buy a size 8 dress or size 34-36 trousers in the vain hope that they might eventually fit into them, the aspirationally chronometric honestly believe that by saying the words, “I’ll be there in five minutes,” they will actually be there in five minutes. Arriving 40 minutes late always comes as a shock.

I do not believe that the chronically tardy should be excoriated or ridiculed or cast out into the darkness. Just as some of us are insensitive and some of us are cheap and some of us are not so great around children and some of us tell inappropriate jokes in refined social settings, some people couldn’t arrive on time if their life depended on it.

There is nothing to be done about it; the behavior cannot be cured. Making people feel guilty about their maddening tardiness is only going to make things worse. The best course of action is to grin and bear it.

Mr. Queenan's tolerant attitude ends when the tardy person is or could be one's life partner:

You only see your friends from time to time, but you see your partner every day—which means your significant other is going to keep you waiting every day.

How to deal with this? At this point it might be, well, too late. But if you notice early in your relationship that your partner is always, always tardy, it’s likely best to pull the plug on the love affair and move to someone who is more chronometrically reliable.

Just as you would bring down the curtain on a relationship with someone who had a bad drug habit or who seemed way too fond of World War I-era ordnance, you should immediately walk away from a prospective partner as soon as you realize that they’re going to be a half-hour behind for everything for the next 65 years.

One should always practice charity and tolerance. But do not voluntarily enter a relationship where one must practice said charity and tolerance every day for the rest of one's life. That's being too aspirationally virtuous.