Don't Worry Your Pretty Empty Little Heads

Barron's, on United Airlines [bold added]:

This morning, all flights by United Airlines flights were grounded by the Federal Aviation Administration, initially according to a computer “glitch,” according to wire services. United is a division of United Continental (UAL).

Hours later, flight operations were resumed, and United issued a statement saying it was a problem with a router.

Sure, I can relate. Sometimes my home router freezes up, too, then I pull its plug, reboot, and I'm back in business in five minutes. Hey, United, did you try doing that?

(Examiner image)

Shortly after the air travel news, it was the NYSE's turn to experience a "glitch":

The New York Stock Exchange abruptly halted trading in all issues, stating “We are currently experiencing a technical issue we are trying to resolve. We are doing our utmost to produce a swift resolution…”

After more than three hours, trading resumed at 3:10 p.m. Eastern.

Authorities say that the outages have nothing to do with the Chinese stock market crash, Greece's possible exit from the euro, or the computer hackers that have invaded major U.S. corporations and the Federal Government in the past year.

Whew, that's a relief. Now let's talk about important stuff: didja hear about Ariana Grande licking a tray of doughnuts?