Science Classifies Another Activity

(Hemingway images from postprohibition.com)

Ernest Hemingway, Mary Poppins, the Nutty Professor and Mr. Hyde walk into a bar. No, that's not the set-up for a joke but a description of the four types of drunks, according to scientists [bold added]

Hemingways do not exhibit any major changes in personality when they transition from sober to drunk.

Mary Poppins drinkers....are already outgoing types who somehow get sweeter and happier with alcohol.

Nutty Professors....are natural introverts who shed their inhibitions with special vigor when they drink, showing a flashier and more social side.

Mr. Hydes...the evil-twin drinkers who are, according to the study, [are] “particularly less responsible, less intellectual, and more hostile when under the influence of alcohol.”

Your humble observer is a fifth type that the scientists did not identify, a Rip Van Winkle. Alcohol demolishes the willpower needed to stay awake, and I never make it to the last call. Despite Morpheus' early visit I always pay the price the next day:

(Photo from Dreamstime.com)

Alcohol delays the onset of REM sleep, says Sonu Ahluwalia, M.D., Clinical Chief of Orthopedic Surgery at Cedars Sinai Medical Center....Not only does it come on later, but you get up to 9 percent less REM sleep during the first half of the night than you should be. The result: You’re left feeling groggy in the morning.