Step Away From the Green Onions

As one who makes fried rice regularly, I was alarmed by the following news item: [bold added]

A Florida man was found “covered from head to toe in pork fried rice and a red sauce” following an attack yesterday by his ex-girlfriend, according to cops who arrested the woman for domestic battery.

Once the California legislature hears about this, they'll require that I get a fried-rice license, which means taking classes, passing tests, apprenticing under a fried-rice master or mistress (which admittedly could be fun), and, of course, paying a license fee.

At least the weapon was gluten-free.

Fried rice transforms leftovers into something tasty. Shown below are before-and-after photos using hot dogs that would otherwise have gone into the compost bin.