Friday, September 30, 2005

My Toes-es Are Roses

The view is great but I wish I were outside.


I’m so far behind at work that I’ve had to turn down some freebies this week: a company-paid dinner, a company-sponsored baseball game, and technical seminars on subjects in which I’m keenly interested. I didn’t even have time on a perfect Thursday to head over to Fillmore and witness the first of its kind urban ski-jump in Pacific Heights.

Some people can take off with a clear conscience, but I (still) have trouble setting work aside when it’s piling up. A favorable explanation is that I adhere to the professional’s standard of doing what is necessary to get the job done; a less complimentary view is that I’m too steeped in the deferred gratification philosophy of the Protestant ethic to stop and smell the roses.

But rationality (rationalization?) shall overcome: I’ve reached the age where gratification can’t be deferred too much longer. And I’ve got enough saved for a rainy day---probably not enough for the hurricane, tsunami, or earthquake---but Uncle FEMA will undoubtedly cushion severe blows so I’m not preoccupied with natural disasters.

Last week one of my bosses, a hard-charging guy from the Midwest, met with me to talk about a wide range of subjects. Over many hours of conversation he hinted darkly that if certain things weren’t done there would be “financial consequences”. That’s just the way the guy is, so I let it pass, but at that point I did the inner eye-roll. He was talking about the size of my year-end bonus payout, as if I’m putting up with this grief because he’s waving a few more dollar bills at me. I’ve been very easy-going—even placid--so far, but he really wouldn’t want to bargain with me because I know my position and his, and I’d rather be in my shoes, thank you.

Maybe I should smell the roses. © 2005 Stephen Yuen

No comments: