A Last Gift to the Kids

(WSJ drawing)

We are lucky that our mothers--both over 90--are still with us.

That fortunate circumstance also means that we haven't gone through the stress and emotion of having to sort through our parents' material things. It's still possible for us to go over their possessions with them; we've had halting, piecemeal conversations but it's unlikely we will make much progress.

While that day looms, we have our own houses to de-clutter. We need to do it not only for ourselves but to relieve that burden from our children. Some from the next generation are pleading for us to get rid of our stuff. [bold added]

By now, it is common knowledge that millennials like me don’t want the old furniture, china or trinkets that we could inherit when our relatives die, or are offered to us as our parents downsize. In general, we want to experience the world, but not have physical items signifying it. As I’ve watched my parents navigate their own parents’ deaths, and have observed the sheer number of physical items to sort through, I wondered: “How do we millennials know what to throw away and what to save?”

Home organizers, financial planners and consignment shops tell me it’s a conversation they have with clients every day. They say, though awkward, it is better to have open and honest conversations about estate planning when you can, rather than trying to navigate doing so in the anguish or time crunch after a family member dies.

Here's where technology can help in cutting the cord. We can and probably should take pictures of objects that are precious to us, attach notes or even audio-video files that explain why they are meaningful, and send them off to Goodwill or even the landfill.

We'd be cleaning house as a last gift to the kids, and, really, it's just a fraction of the effort we spent in raising them.