Marriage: from Cornerstone to Capstone

When we celebrated our golden anniversary last month, the status of our finances was the furthest thing from our mind, just as they were when we got married. Back then, when we consolidated our balance sheets--yes, we were and are accountants--the sum of our net worths was negative. My student loans had that effect, but she married me anyway.

Barriers to entry (Mendelson/WSJ) (

Few people who have our long-ago financial circumstances now tie the knot. [bold added]

For centuries, the institution of marriage functioned more as an economic contract than a romantic one—the promise of a better shot at achieving financial success and stability as a couple.

More recently, the script has flipped. Financial security is no longer a goal reached after marriage, younger Americans say, but rather a prerequisite for it...

The idea of both parties waiting to build a career or wealth before tying the knot is called a capstone model of marriage. Economists and demographers say that thinking has replaced the old “cornerstone” approach, where people would wed in their early 20s and then work together to buy a home, build a nest egg and progress in their careers...

“Marriage has become a status symbol,” said Krista Westrick-Payne, assistant director of the National Center for Marriage & Family Research. “People don’t want to get married until they have an education, have that job that can support them and they can afford a house, and they are also looking for a partner that ticks all those boxes.”

I sympathize with the desire to have financial security; in our case we didn't really feel that we were financially safe until we were in our 50's. Of course, waiting to marry until then would have made it unlikely that we would have had children.

Marrying when young and poor carries greater risk, but if you should make it, the stories you could tell.