Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Marriage: It's All About Expectations

A study has confirmed common sense--marital happiness is dependent upon expectations:
having high standards only makes people more satisfied if they’re in strong marriages—and having lower standards is better for marriages that aren’t as secure. [snip]

...higher standards were a bad thing for spouses who didn’t work as well together or were more indirectly hostile. Conversely, when couples like these had lower standards, they tended to be happier in their marriages.
Another solution: just have patience (Image from davenan)
The study didn't define what makes a good marriage in the first place, i.e., when spouses can use criticism as a way to make their partnership stronger instead of worse, but if it were that easy society would have a much lower divorce rate.

Anyway, one doesn't need science, just a bit of Reinhold Niebuhr:
God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

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