Four Magic Words

How to get through a conversational lull with a stranger: [bold added]

Paul Ford: self-described "rumpled
giant in an off-brand shirt"

Here’s a polite person’s trick, one that has never failed me. I will share it with you because I like and respect you, and it is clear to me that you’ll know how to apply it wisely: When you are at a party and are thrust into conversation with someone, see how long you can hold off before talking about what they do for a living. And when that painful lull arrives, be the master of it.

I have come to revel in that agonizing first pause, because I know that I can push a conversation through. Just ask the other person what they do, and right after they tell you, say: “Wow. That sounds hard.”

The author, "writer, product strategist, educator, programmer, and software consultant" Paul Ford, wrote this somewhat tongue-in-cheek article in 2014. It's become unexpectedly relevant because of its section on Hair Touching:

WaPo: no-no to hair touching.

One way to be polite is by not touching people unless they specifically invite it. You’d be amazed at how often people screw this up; just search the Internet for “touch black woman hair” and marvel at the number of articles, posts, and guides...I’ve read many narratives about white people just touching black hair and I read them with my mouth open. Not because of the racism, even. Just because as a polite person the idea of just reaching out and touching anyone’s hair makes my eye twitch. When would it be appropriate? If there was a very large poisonous spider in their hair. If I was doing a magic trick. Or after six or more years of marriage.

Come to think of it, I can see why people prefer to stay home and chat with others remotely.