A Smashing Taste

(WSJ gif)

Like most red-blooded Americans, I enjoy a thick, juicy hamburger--preferably medium rare--but occasionally I hanker for a burger that is "smashed." Apparently, so do a growing number of Americans. [bold added]

Today’s burger fans are snubbing the sky-high steakhouse hamburger for thinner, easier-to-bite alternatives.

Some fast-food chains and diners have long served smash-style burgers—Shake Shack and, yes, Smashburger among them. But higher-end restaurants have started posting smashed-down patties on social media to draw in crowds in recent years.

Consumers brave lines or show up to one-off smash-burger pop-ups. Gone are the traditional lettuce and tomato, with grilled onions taking their place. Devotees love the seared sides, textured edges, simple toppings and manageable portions...

A smash burger is pressed down on a griddle until it is thin, while a plump burger is seared and cooked through more gently. Single patties use less meat than a traditional burger, but smash burgers are often served as doubles, with four crispy sides.

Smashed burgers are a good change of pace. The seared taste is spread throughout because of the larger surface that touches the grill; they all turn out medium or well done, and the benefit in texture makes up for the loss of the medium-rare or rare option.

The closest Smashburger locations for us Peninsulans are in San Jose, which is too far for a retiree to make a special trip. So I only go there 2-3 times a year, a good thing for my waistline.

Cheese Names Stand Alone

Wisconsin's Bel Gioioso found that its "American Grana"
was illegal because of Italy's Grana Padano. (WSJ photo)

Sartori Co. is a family-owned Wisconsin cheesemaker that has been in business since 1939. The company makes its own versions of Asiago, Parmesan, and Romano. However, due to European Union naming restrictions on imports,

Sartori had to trademark new names, leading to the birth of “Sartiago” and “Sarmesan."

Moreover, EU trade agreements will soon force changes to the names of American cheese exports to Vietnam, Singapore, Japan, and Mexico, among others.

In America we are accustomed to companies protecting their names, formulas, and logos through trademark, patent, and copyright law. Europe seems to be putting a wall around words for geographic regions and whole industries; it is also trying to extend the moat worldwide through trade agreements.

Europe's position is somewhat understandable---Americans wouldn't like it if Chinese winemakers labeled their product as Sonoma (Sino ma?) white. Nevertheless, this principle could be taken too far. What if 100 cheese names were off limits? What about 1,000?

The unintended consequence to Europe would be if this barrier induces American suppliers to change what consumers value in cheese, for example, what the cows are fed (e.g., organic corn, organic grass), the breed of cow (e.g., Guernsey, White Holstein), or manufacturing process (no mold!, no anaerobic bacteria! made with sea salt! ).

Protectionism often boomerangs on the industries being protected.

Not Miracle Whip, Just a Miracle

Homeroom's mac-and-cheese waffles (SF Gate)

Skipping National Mac and Cheese Day is the price one pays for middle-onset lactose intolerance.

I will never darken the doors of Oakland's Homeroom Restaurant, whose entire entrée menu consists of variations on the popular comfort food.

I will never again dine on the sliced hot dogs and Kraft mac-and-cheese that I loved as a child. Perhaps it's just as well, because boxed M&C contains "phthalates — which have been linked to genital birth defects in baby boys and behavior problems in older kids."

I played baseball in the streets with the neighborhood kids and climbed six-foot-high jungle gyms, falling once onto a hard asphalt surface and never making that mistake again. I walked a mile to and from school with busy urban traffic whizzing by. And now it turns out that phthalates were in the mac and cheese.

It's a miracle I'm still alive.

No Pain, No Gain

Max's Latke Reuben: lactase tablets got me through it.

When I turned 40, I lost the ability to digest milk; the condition, familiar to the majority of Asian adults, is known as lactose intolerance.

My doctor was unsympathetic: "maybe you won't put on as much weight." In this relativistic age diarrhea, bloating, and cramps are not unequivocally bad.

Lactose intolerance has another benefit--it stopped me from being addicted to cheese.

Cheese happens to be especially addictive because of an ingredient called casein, a protein found in all milk products. During digestion, casein releases opiates called casomorphins.

"[Casomorphins] really play with the dopamine receptors and trigger that addictive element,"

Lactose intolerance helps with weight control and cheese addiction. It is a feature, not a bug.

Saint Paul: "For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Nancy Pelosi: "Embrace the suck."

Unhole-y Development

(Image from cheesehouse.com)

The holes in Swiss cheese have been disappearing (wow, that's heavy, dude).

Scientists have discovered that Swiss cheese holes originate from specks of hay.

A Swiss agricultural institute discovered that tiny specks of hay are responsible for the famous holes in cheeses like Emmentaler or Appenzeller. As milk matures into cheese these “microscopically small hay particles” help create the holes in the traditional Swiss cheese varieties.

Modern production methods have removed the particles, hence there are fewer holes in Swiss cheese. Those of us who prefer sandwiches to have an even consistency welcome this development, while traditionalists may balk.

Let the market sort out the winners and losers; I suspect that eventually those who prefer the large hole-y cheese will stand alone.