Finance Bros' Day in the Sun

Forget about going after doctors or lawyers, ladies, it's time to prowl Wall Street:

It all started with a TikTok video by 27-year-old Megan Boni, known as Girl On Couch. Her April post, amassing about 49 million views, features a singsong message: “I’m looking for a man in finance. Trust fund. 6’5.” Blue eyes.”

This video was clearly made in jest. For the height criterion alone the percentage of men over 6'5" is less than one percent. Plus a trust fund and blue eyes? That's a unicorn.

Boni said she made the original video as a satire of women with impossible dating standards, not because she’s particularly interested in dating a man in finance.

“I wanted to make fun of single people, including myself,” she said.

Your humble blogger went into finance, is well short of 6', has brown eyes, and has no trust fund. Nevertheless, his life turned out all right. I recommend finance as a career if you're willing to work hard, but don't expect success on dating apps.

Below is a video that starts with Megan Boni's original, then riffs on it.

When the Lemons Don't Line Up, Make Lemonade

I hit a $5,000 jackpot once on a Downtown Las Vegas slot machine. I didn't take a selfie, because smartphones had not yet been invented.

The casino manager gave me a check and a Form 1099. I quit playing, and that was the only time I walked away from the slots as a winner.

Brian Christopher and fan Sue Leahy (WSJ)

In the age of social media, some avid slot players are winning by losing: [bold added]

A new class of niche celebrities have turned the once-solitary experience of gambling at casino slot machines into a spectator sport with millions of viewers and fan camaraderie. Using monopods or videographers to film the action, the players spend hours talking audiences through the highs and lows of jackpots and losses...

Nongamblers, and some who have given up the pastime, also are among [Brian] Christopher’s audience of 612,000 YouTube subscribers and 707,000 Facebook followers. “They get their fix by watching someone else play,” he said.

Christopher has built his particular brand of stardom into a full-time business with 10 employees—including his husband and Senior Vice President of Operations Marco Bianchi—who pack merchandise, such as T-shirts and shot glasses, manage social-media interactions and help secure enough deals and partnerships to fund the enterprise. Christopher declined to provide his total revenue, but said he makes enough to turn a profit after paying his staff and the $300,000 in gambling losses.

Fans visit the locations where the gambler-celebrities play, and the casinos have noticed, and adapted:

Casinos long banned patrons from filming to avoid distractions and to protect the privacy of other customers. They have warmed to the idea in recent years, influencers say, and often give special permission for filming, or make promotional deals with the social-media stars.

Gambling commercials only show winners. In the 21st-century world of streaming video people watch losers....and like it.

If You're Going to Zoom, You May as Well Zoom from Someplace Warm

With St. Ambrose looking over his shoulder,
the rector reviewed the state of the congregation.

Taking a break from the Hawaiian vacation, I tuned in to the livestream worship service back home in the Bay Area.

Today was the new Rector's first Annual Meeting, and he already made one significant change by holding it in the middle, not the end of, the service.

IMHO, the new format was much more efficient. In previous years lunch accompanied the meeting and there was more socializing. Today conversation, including an open questions and answers section, was all business.

The new regime raised my committee's budget without my asking, and it's only coincidental that I like the way things are going so far.

Talking About We Don't Talk About Bruno

Disney's 2021 animated feature, Encanto, has produced the international music hit We Don't Talk About Bruno:

“Bruno” recently became the first song from a Walt Disney Animation Studios film to hit the number one spot on Billboard’s Streaming Songs chart. This week, it hit number four on Billboard’s Hot 100 to become the highest-charting song from a Disney animated film in over 26 years (since “Colors of the Wind” from “Pocahontas” in 1995) according to Billboard—and surpassing “Let It Go” from “Frozen,” which made it to number five in 2014.

I pulled up the YouTube video to see what the excitement was all about. Characters sing about a missing relative whose ability to prophesy negative events has made him unpopular. The lyrics are clever, Porter-esque even, and the Latin rhythms drive the song forward energetically.

IMHO, however, the melody is not very hummable. I like the piece but don't love it. The animation is attractive, so I would watch the video again but don't intend to listen to the audio stand-alone.

Thus it was, is, and shall be ever more. Generations are divided by their music.

Below is the video, which has garnered 109 million hits as of this writing.

Education is Everywhere, If You Just Look For It

Many of the conveniences of middle-class life are taken for granted, like in-house washers and dryers.

After the old Kenmore dryer failed 10 days ago, I expected to pay $500 for a basic model at Home Depot, Costco, or Best Buy; $700+ would be the all-in replacement cost after delivery, installation, sales tax, and removal of the old dryer.

YouTube showed that repairs were easy--even allowing that it would take me ten times as long as the professionals in the videos--so it couldn't hurt to try to diagnose the problem and attempt a fix (the parts would probably cost less than $50).

I had to promise the household CEO that I wouldn't dither; going to the laundromat was not only inconvenient but in the coronavirus era could be hazardous to one's health because of proximity to others in a warm, humid environment. If the task could not be done in a week, we would buy a new dryer.

Lint obstructed air flow from the clothes drum

After opening the bottom panel and unscrewing the lint cover for the first and only time in 13 years, the likely source of the problem became apparent: lint was jamming the air flow throughout.

Wearing a dustmask, I scooped out handfuls of lint, then used a brush and vacuum cleaner. The dryer had been working harder for at least a year, and the longer drying time finally burnt out one of the circuits.

Pulling out the metal housing for the heating element, I checked for a break on the three devices ("test for continuity" is the technical term) that were most likely to fail: the fuse, thermostat, and heating element.

Testing for continuity

It was the heating element. Ordering a kit for all three parts for $34 from Amazon, I replaced the heating element and kept the thermostat and fuse if either of them blows.

I'll spare you the details of putting everything back together and cleaning out more lint, dear reader. Suffice it to say that the dryer is working again, more efficiently than it has in a long time, and should be good for 2-3 years.

Comments: I did derive satisfaction from:

1) not having to spend $500-$700 on a new dryer;
2) not having to send the old one to the landfill or recycling plant;
3) being able to fix it myself.

But the most satisfaction arose from learning how the dryer worked. It's both simple and ingenious. Discreet writers call it a negative pressure system, but your humble blogger prefers simpler language.

Heating element + small parts

The motor both tumbles the drum and sucks the hot moist air out of the drum and expels it through the exhaust. The drum in turn sucks in outside air that has passed over the heating element. The features (tumbling, drum, timer, moisture sensing, varying the heat, etc.) that we see in current dryers were all invented before 1960.

Frankly, I am in awe of the engineers and inventors that created wonders, both big and small, in 20th century America.

Emily and Amy Didn't Write About This

As a follow-on to yesterday's post about punctuation in the modern age, the WSJ publishes a guide to digital etiquette.  (Your humble blogger's comments are in green.)

Faux pas: pasting URL link

Don’t: Paste a long URL link into an email
Do: Hyperlink the text instead
Nothing uglies up an email exchange or reveals that you’re behind the times quite like a 10-line URL link with more symbols than letters (See our poor dinosaur’s faux pas). In most email servers, however, you can hide a hideous URL by hyperlinking it to related text in the body of your note. I prefer pasting "hideous" URL's, then converting the link to text; some servers consider links to be spam.

Not appetizing to me

Don’t: Ask for a menu
Do: Learn to scan QR Codes
People’s unwillingness to touch potentially germy surfaces and devices during the pandemic has greatly accelerated the adoption of unique QR codes. At most restaurants, only the out-of-it still ask for the opportunity to squint at a sticky menu; instead use your smartphone’s camera to scan the QR code (typically found on a placard at your table) to easily access the eatery’s offerings online. I like looking at printed menus; some restaurants spend a lot of time designing them. As for online menus, seen one, seen 'em all.

Don’t: Squirrel away your microwave manual
Do: Watch how-to videos on YouTube
You can finally clear out that drawer of old appliance manuals you keep “just in case.” The tech-savvy know that, should they need to troubleshoot a device, jump-start a car, learn how to hyperlink a URL (see above), or even change a setting on a Gmail inbox, they can simply type a query into YouTube’s search bar and watch the video with the most views. When I can't find the manual, I do watch YouTube videos, which have too many ads before, during, and inside the videos. Yes, I'm too cheap to pay Google for an ad-free subscription.

Don’t: Listen to music on Pandora
Do: Download Spotify
Beyond unearthing new artists, the best reason to download a music app is to share your taste with friends (and romantic partners). While more than 10 million people have hopped off Pandora since it was bought two years ago, according to Music Business Worldwide, dropping its active user base to around 55 million, Spotify—with its impressive algorithm for discovering new music—now boasts more than 165 million users.  Apple Music, which is part of an Apple One subscription, is good enough for me.

Don’t: Get cash from an ATM to reimburse a friend
Do: Use Venmo
Dragging a cohort along to an ATM so you can hand her a bundle of sticky bills is like insisting on communicating with her by snail mail. Venmo and CashApp help you automatically find friends in your contacts list or, if you’re sitting together, you can scan each other’s unique QR codes. Plus: No line ups.   I'll put up with mild convenience so as not to let another company into my financial affairs.

Don’t: Write down all your passwords
Do: Utilize a password manager
If you still keep passwords stored in an email draft in hopes of eluding hackers, assume your passwords have already been compromised and come up with new ones. Better yet, download a password manager like LastPass, Keeper or Dashlane. Each can securely create and store unique codes for every platform you visit, allowing you to keep dodgy types from accessing all your personal emails and information. I've got an admittedly inefficient paper system that is, as far as I know, unhackable and won't be until mind-reading devices come along, and even then, why would they bother with me?

Don’t: Store files on a thumb drive
Do: Use the Cloud or Dropbox
New computer models are quickly phasing out USB ports, so if you have all your most secret and important files stashed on a USB thumb drive, you are a bit of a dinosaur and you need to move fast. Your best option is to use a secure cloud server like Apple iCloud, Dropbox or Google Drive, which provides anyone with a gmail account 15 gigabytes of free and safe storage. "Secure cloud servers"?  If they can hack Microsoft cloud, I'm gonna keep my thumb drives for sensitive files that I can't afford to lose.

The Abundance Around Us

The priest had laryngitis, but he showed up.

The seasonal allergies caused a bit of respiratory congestion, so for the first time since church re-opened in May I didn't attend. Fortunately, there was an alternative.

The necessities of last year had forced our little parish, like thousands around the world, to acquire both the equipment and knowledge to stream live services. About two-dozen fellow parishioners were tuned in; some posted short greetings on the YouTube message board.

The priest reflected on the readings---David and Bathsheba, Paul's description of God's love, and the feeding of the five thousand--and how the common theme was that of scarcity and abundance. The initial thought that comes to our secular minds is that of earthly riches or the lack thereof. Of course, the ancient chroniclers were really writing about attitudes toward material things and the actions we take to acquire, use, and share them.

On the last Sunday in July, 16 months after the shutdowns began, let us dwell not upon what we have lost or never had, but the abundance that exists all around us.

Miracle of the Loaves and Fishes, Tintoretto (16th Century, Met)

Life is But a Stream

The youth minister's office is also the streaming hub.

After "attending" church for over a year via YouTube, I must confess that I like watching services from home:

I don't have to get dressed up.

I can eat and drink. Sipping a cuppa joe while listening to the sermon is both stimulating and relaxing, if that makes any sense.

I don't have to worry about decorum and can go to the bathroom without "holding it", if you know what I mean.

I can stand, wave my arms, and do stretching and breathing exercises. You can't do that in an Episcopal church; we're not Pentecostals!

All that said, I've been going to in-person services since they resumed three weeks ago. It seems almost a novelty to be with people and take Communion, but the largest benefit to me has been the re-imposition of mindfulness. The cellphone is off, and I must focus on what is going on in the moment.

Park Avenue Synagogue member Allan Ripp agrees:

During remote services the distractions are constant, like working from home. Only instead of zoning out on a client while putting on my socks, I miss the benediction for the state of Israel. There’s also the temptation to multitask—is it a sin to empty the dishwasher while singing the Aleinu? Or to google the parents of the bat mitzvah girl? Most diverting are on-screen glimpses into congregants’ homes. I’m joining the nice couple chanting Bar’chu, while squinting at the furnishings in their elegant living room. Is that the Hamptons?

Modern distractions are new, but the state of being distracted has been observed for centuries:

The idea of lapsed or divided attention at prayer has long occupied Jewish scholars. Rabbi Ethan Witkovsky of Park Avenue Synagogue explains—over Zoom, of course—machshavot zarot, which a 13th-century sage described as “spurious thoughts” that creep into worshipers’ heads. “Back then, it might have been the health of your ox that intruded, whereas today it could be your bank balance or an episode of ‘Game of Thrones,’ ” he says.

(I've never had to worry about the health of an ox, but the health of my car, that's another matter.)

The coronavirus has irrevocably changed the world of work, and, likewise the world of worship. Having another option on Sunday morning is much better than having no option at all. As the Gershwins might have said, live-streaming is here to stay.

The Largest Virtual Choir Ever Assembled

We can't sing together in church, but technology allows us to sing together virtually,

Composer Eric Whitacre assembled a choir of 17,522 individuals singing his original composition. He coordinated their timing by means of him conducting the piece on a video accessed by each participant. Sound and video engineers did the rest.

More on the production is in the CBS Sunday Morning segment below.

Bottoms Up

Last week Friday, Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms of Atlanta spoke (YouTube video above) about the death of George Floyd. This was before the political battle lines were drawn, talking points were crafted by the various sides, and the essays on America's history of racism and police brutality were updated.

Though unscripted, it struck a thoughtful balance between sorrow and anger both at the murder of an innocent man and the riots that were destroying parts of Atlanta.

Leadership expert Sam Walker breaks down the components of her effective presentation. Excerpts:

1. Ditch the Notes: She never broke eye contact.

2. Lose the Badge: “I am a mother to four black children in America, one of whom is 18 years old. And when I saw the murder of George Floyd, I hurt like a mother would hurt.” This brought her down to eye level with everyone.

3. Show Vulnerability: “I called my son and I said, ‘Where are you?’ ” The fear showed on her face. Her voice quavered as if she might cry. “I said, ‘I cannot protect you. A black boy shouldn’t be out today.’ ”

4. Focus on Behavior: Telling them, “you are disgracing our city,” was quite different from saying “You are a disgrace to our city.”

5. Be Fierce, But Offer Solutions: “You’re not protesting anything, running out with brown liquor in your hands, breaking windows in this city,” she shouted....Here, at the peak of volume, the mayor offered a better solution. “If you want change in America, go and register to vote,” she said. “Show up at the polls on June 9. Do it in November. That is the change we need in this country.”

6. Show Control: Ms. Bottoms made it clear, right away, that she hadn’t shown up in a lather. “Let me just speak to what’s happening here, today,” she calmly began. In the first minute, her pace was slow, controlled and deliberate. Later, after fully unleashing her “red” emotion, the mayor quickly went “blue” again. She fell silent for three full seconds.

7. Reel It Back: Early on, Ms. Bottoms had leaned on two pronouns, “I” and then “you.” As her speech wound down, she added a third. “We are better than this,” she said. “We’re better than this as a city, we are better than this as a country.”...Start with “I,” pivot to “you” and finish with “we.”

Mayor Bottoms is rumored to be on the list of Joe Biden's potential running mates. Can one speech catapult a non-Governor state official to national prominence and, eventually, national office? Why not?

Bringing the Condition Home

Walking in someone else's shoes even for a brief period fosters empathy. And so it is that today many people, including your humble blogger, can better identify with the struggles of those with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). [bold added]

Howie Mandel has been afflicted with
ADHD and OCD since childhood.
(Psychology Today)

Life for everyone in the Bay Area right now---with the intense handwashing, fear of leaving the home and fear of causing harm to others---resembles some of the classic OCD struggles. And indeed, OCD sufferers with contamination-related compulsions are facing heightened anxiety during the pandemic.

But many others are reporting that years of therapy have made them the calmest person in their household. And the sheltering has the potential for a big positive — a turning point for a disorder that has been marked by a lack of understanding in the media and popular culture.

Jeff Bell, a KCBS radio anchor and mental health awareness advocate who documented his own OCD struggle in the 2007 memoir “Rewind, Replay, Repeat,” said he’s already seeing signs of empathy from the public, who are getting a sample-size version of the trials of an OCD patient.

Fictional characters like Sheldon Cooper of The Big, Bang Theory and Adrian Monk of Monk depicted OCD in characters whose quirks were highly irritating....at first. But as the audience grew to know them over the series' 12-year and 8-year respective runs, the disorder became recognized as integral to their characters' positive attributes. The overwhelming majority of people do not have OCD, but society's fear-filled response to COVID-19 brings the condition home.

Monk, 2002-2009, was a dramedy about a brilliant detective. Tony Shalhoub and some of the cast reprised their roles in this new YouTube short.

Life is But a Stream

Two weeks ago our rector reluctantly withdrew from streaming church services:

Today was his last sermon, at least until the lockdown is lifted. He turns 66 this week and, according to both the Diocese and the County of San Mateo, cannot attend even small gatherings.

I spoke too soon. He simply pre-recorded his sermon and spliced it into the livestream on YouTube. And why not?

(Image from Ascension Press)

Long before the 21st century Christians believed that it wasn't necessary to be physically present in order to participate in worship services.

From the Apostle's Creed:

I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. Amen

When I first learned in Sunday School about the ghosts who gather around the altar during Holy Communion, it freaked me out. Now I kind of believe it's true (he said apprehensively).

Okay, This is Getting Serious

In the least important story of the weekend, Starbucks gave up on its to-go-only model and closed its two stores in Foster City.

On the Starbucks app nearby stores just vanished from the map, like half the world's population in the last two Avengers movies. Disbelieving, I drove by the closest store to see for myself.

Someone who really wants a cuppa joe can go to the kiosk in Safeway or the outlets in nearby San Mateo.

Okay, this is getting serious...

Peak Google?

YouTube founders Chad Hurley, Steve Chen, Jawed Karim

News item: a lawsuit claims that YouTube has frozen the hiring of white or Asian males for engineering positions.

Last spring, YouTube recruiters were allegedly instructed to cancel interviews with applicants who weren’t female, black or Hispanic, and to “purge entirely” the applications of people who didn’t fit those categories, the lawsuit claims.

Larry Page and Sergey Brin

Without white or Asian males YouTube would not have been founded or invented.

And the same goes for Google, the second most valuable company in the world. (Google owns YouTube.)

John Oliver: Apple Vs. FBI

One of the alumni of Jon Stewart's The Daily Show, John Oliver discusses the FBI vs. Apple controversy over breaking into a terrorist's iPhone.

Typical of his video essays, Encryption is humorous, vulgar, and filled with information. While he does take Apple's side, John Oliver throws a few shots the company's way. And don't miss the last two minutes of the 18-minute video, which contains an example of a "little more honest" Apple ad about privacy and hacking.



One more thing: it's no wonder that the younger crowd prefers to get its news this way than from droning heads on the nightly news.

Where is He Now?

Three years after "Linsanity" Jeremy Lin has settled into the role of backup point guard with the Charlotte Hornets. As the experts constantly reminded us in 2012, Jeremy Lin's middle-of-the-road NBA talent caught lightning when injuries gave Jeremy a chance to show off his passing skills in New York, the center of the media universe.

Jeremy Lin's success made a few players resentful, but he showed humor and spiritual gracefulness as he descended from heights impossible to sustain.

He maintains a good relationship with many in the NBA; witness current and former teammates who appeared in his recent video.



As we said three years ago, "this young man has exhibited such a high degree of media savvy that we expect to see him around long after his playing days are over."

Where Is He Now

The Jeremy Lin phenomenon has moved overseas while the NBA is on break:



It's unlikely that Linsanity will ever rise to its previous heights now that he's playing for the Houston Rockets. That said, this young man has exhibited such a high degree of media savvy that we expect to see him around long after his playing days are over.

Sync-ing While Swimming

The U.S. swimming team's 31 Olympic medals don't include any in synchronized swimming. Maybe if they had one for synchronized lip-syncing (is that a redundant redundancy?) they would have earned at least a bronze:

Note: if you're over 30, you may have missed the cultural phenomenon that is Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe, a silly song that has over 200 million (!) hits on YouTube.

It's a Radio, It's an MP3 Player, But Wait There's More!

Halfway through this 6-minute video (drag the slider forward if you're in a hurry) one Jacky Pang demonstrates a multifunction gadget that's got my Swiss Army knife all beat. If it can be built, it will be built. Hilarious.

Sentimental Fool

Hula dancers, San Francisco landmarks, Tony Bennett. I love this video, a sure sign that I’m entering my dotage. Just remember to keep your eyes on the hands.